A Long List of Bumper Stickers

1. The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

2. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

6. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

8. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

9. I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.

10. So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!

11. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

12. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

14. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

15. Earth first...we'll mind the other planets later.

16. I'm just driving this way to make you mad.

17. Out of my mind.  Back in five minutes.

18. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

19. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

20. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

21. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

22. It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

23. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

24. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

25. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

26. I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

27. Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling too good myself.

28. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

29. Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

30. Consciousness that annoying time between naps.

31. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

32. CAT - The Other White Meat!

33. Fish Fear Me; Women Want Me!

34. I'm Out Of Bed And Dressed; What More Do You Want?

35. Remember My Name - You'll Be Screaming It Later.

36. Beer - The reason I get up each afternoon!

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